Foregiveness over apologies

There seems to be a big ask for apologies these days.

We ask politicians to publicly apologize for bad personal decisions, celebrities must use their social media platform to apologize for offending content and actions, the Pope is asked to travel to Canada to apologize for past actions among many other requests for apologies.

Apologizing is a huge and needed action, but not one that is always associated with recovering from grief or wrong doing. In fact, it rarely is.

The larger and more needed action is forgiveness. They say that to not forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the accused to die from it. In actual fact, not forgiving is killing the resentment-filled individual.

It is possible to recover from trauma and wrongs of others by simply pursuing forgiveness in yourself. Forgiveness does not even require interaction with the accused. It is a personal journey of moving through grief and into recovery from your grief.

What happened with the residential schools is unjust and devastating and should not be forgotten or covered up. But how long are we going to hold people accountable, asking for apologies and still hold resentment and anger towards them after the apology?

We must forgive. We must move through grief and back to unity, or create the unity that has always been missing.

I would love to see forgiveness as part of Canada's history. I would love to see Canada set an example of the unity that can happen through forgiveness. I would love to see this country heal.

I, for one, am tired of the placated apologies from politicians and people of interest who really don't mean anything they say, but are just speaking to save themselves and their careers.

I've also heard it said that being sorry is being sorry for getting caught, but being remorseful and repentant is a desire to change.

Are these apologies said with remorse and repentance or are they just sorry they got caught? Either way, it is not the apology that allows us to recover and move on from grief, it is forgiveness that allows us to do this.

Shonah Marie Nykiforuk


Highrises need EV charging

Re. Alan Sanderson's letter Where is the EV charging? (Castanet, May 18)

I have the same question about a lack of EV charging in new highrises.

I live in a new 36-story tower with more than 200 units and there are no EV charging stations.

I was told there will likely be some once the second tower of about 200 more units opens this summer. Hopefully there will be an adequate number to service the two buildings.

Even if there are 20 EV stations when the new building opens it will be a logistical nightmare trying to use one while potentially 500 other residents also want to charge their cars.

Why is the city and the province allowing new towers to be built without adequate EV charging available?

With the push to eliminate gas vehicles in a few years, every new building should have an EV station at least roughed at to every parking stall.

Why would anyone buy a $1million-plus condo in a new building without asking about EV availability? We all know it is coming.

L. Willerton

No public EV charging

Re. Alan Sanderson's letter Where is the EV charging? (Castanet, May 18)

In response to Alan Sanderson asking where are the EV charging stations at the new Kelowna Costco, why should there be any at all?

Unlike gasoline, electricity is available at home. There should be very little need for charging stations elsewhere. Maybe a few for out-of-town travellers and at hotels and motels, but not at every retail outlet parking lot. And certainly not for free!

EV drivers must pay their way—for parking, charging and roads. Owning an EV is not a ticket for a free ride.

Parking on the street instead of on your own property will be problematic if you own an EV. Where will you charge?

V Xaronski


Why subsidize EVs?

Re. E.V. charging stations and government funding

Two items recent got my attention:

1. A news story that said the government is now funding E.V. power charging stations up to 75%

2. A letter regarding the lack of a charging station at (the Kelowna) Costco.

I realize people want to (use) electric vehicles (EVs) to possibly help the environment, or more likely save money on purchasing gas but right now the federal and provincial governments are providing grants to allow people to buy EVs. That money is coming from government revenues we all put in and now we are going to fund the installation of the charging stations.

The gas stations most of us use are bought and paid for by the gas companies, whether that be Shell, Chevron, Esso, whatever.

I’m sure they get little, if any, government money for buying those properties, building the facility and operations. The gas companies make their return on investment from the profits on the sale of gas (and right now that is excessive, but that’s another issue). But it’s all to do with the sale of a product.

EV charging stations are similarly selling a product but, of course, it’s not something you can see or touch. So why do these retailers of electricity not have to fund their own outlets, the EV charging stations?

I can see, and understand, the donation of land (for EC charging station sites) by governments but why are we, Canadian and British Columbian taxpayers, forking over funds for a minority, who pay no gas tax, to fuel their vehicles?

I wonder where this is going when the vast majority of road users are paying exorbitant fuel costs.

Malcolm Roberts, Kelowna

Change grocery store music

The other day I was in a grocery store. The atmosphere was frenzied perhaps because the music blasting was chaotic.

After picking out a few items miserably, my mind was frantic. Was it my ADHD kicking in? Was it the crowd of other frantic shoppers?

I reflected on my daughter, who is now a young mom of two little boys, who, also, all hate shopping. I was there shopping for them.

I still had 45 more items on my list. How was I going to continue? I couldn’t, not there.

I marched to the checkout to find that the cost of my two grocery items was so high my blood pressure soared.

Sitting in my 2020 Grand Caravan, I closed my eyes and after a prayer for peace and a sigh of relief.

I reflected on a brighter day. There I was in New York City at Westside Market on Broadway and 97th Street pushing my shopping cart. I was loading brie, camembert, blue cheese, organic raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, pineapples and pears into my cart. I leisurely walked through the grocery aisles listening to the beautiful throw back ‘70s music I could always count on there. I never wanted to leave, lol. One good song after another kept me shopping. There were always others enjoying the music too. We would exchange smiles and suggestions.

I would shop for what seemed like hours and when my cart could hold no more I’d head to pay my bill. It’s amazing what good music will do! I never left there paying anywhere near my budget but the experience was always so beautiful, peaceful, and dare I say magical. I just didn’t care.

I’d had my fix for social change and I’d felt love in my grocery experience!

I wanted to linger, I wanted to shop and I wanted to hear just one more up beat song I could sing along with.I wanted to smile, I wanted to be smiled at and I experienced joy. Because of that I returned often.

If all it takes to offer this in Kelowna is a simple change in music, from frantic to calm or even classical, to help people like me want to be there and buy so many more items over and above our lists, why not?

Walk in, listen, attract and maintain the desire to be there. That’s how I go from being disgruntled at the till when two items cost $35 to paying over $500 every time without batting an eye.

In the immortal words of (singer)Raffi:

“All I really need is a song in my heart, food in my belly and love in my family”.

We all need to eat, imagine the influence for social change the grocery store could be if our daily song that lingers longer than bread alone was infused in our mind here?

Monica Iwanowsky

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