Coping during a pandemic

I hope you and your family were able to enjoy a quiet Easter weekend close to home, and that your loved ones are safe and accounted for.

During the last few weeks, I’ve been in contact with many clients. I’ve heard from most that replies from lenders for payment deferrals are taking a long time.

If you have a payment coming up quickly and have not heard back, I suggest you reach out to your mortgage broker or bank to ask if they have a way to escalate your request.

Good news is many of my clients were approved for deferral of three months right away, which has given them some peace of mind and breathing space financially.

Veering wildly off the topic of mortgages, I want to share my reflections about our current state.

I am an annoyingly optimistic person and try always to see the glass as half full. I keep a gratitude journal. Yes, I am that person.

I suffered a significant trauma as a teenager that has shaped the way I view the world. It taught me what is truly important, and what is perhaps less so.

One of my daughters was stranded in Guatemala when the first travel advisories were issued. She rebooked flights to come home almost two weeks early, but did not manage to get out before the Guatemalan government locked down their airspace.

That started what was arguably the longest week of my life, while we tried desperately to get her home safely.

When things go sideways in my world, I try my best to see what the lesson is for me. Just because I focus on the positive doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge the crappy things that happen.

As we are watching the events of our world unfold and my normal routine is not so normal any more, I have times where I struggle to stay focused on work.

I openly admit that I have had a few moments lately where I struggle with what I see people sharing online.

• I see people jumped on for commenting that they need their nails done or hair cut.
• I see neighbours jumping on each other for perceived violations of social distancing.
• I see people criticizing others for being out and about.
• I’ve seen people battling back and forth that this virus is being blown out of proportion.
• I’ve seen people arguing that we are not doing enough.

I had a call from a friend I grew up with this week. We chatted for over two hours. She has family members in Albania, which is in total lockdown.

They need to apply online to get a permit to leave their home. At that, they are only allowed to leave for groceries or pharmacy items, and only between certain times.

About a week ago, a friend posted a story on Facebook about how someone yelled at her for being out walking with another person. Another friend commented that she had a similar incident.

The next day I happened to see the same thread and was horrified to see the comments that had been added.

I have also seen moments of brilliance and compassion that have brought me to tears. I’ve seen many people reaching out and offering to help others.

I’ve seen people going above and beyond to take care of neighbours, front-line workers, and essential workers who are putting themselves at risk by going to work every day so that we can have access to health care and groceries.

Take a minute before you judge others. Being at the hardware store to buy materials for home improvement projects might not seem essential to you, but it may help that person stay sane by keeping busy.

Being out for a walk with the dog might be keeping the entire family sane because they have no fenced yard for the dog to burn off steam.

I’ve discovered how much fun it can be to connect with friends and family using technology like Duo or Facetime. Different, but some of those conversations have been so good for my soul.

I have also spent a great deal of time appreciating how fortunate we are to live where we do.

My hope is that we all take a deep breath and try to show compassion to those around us. Take a moment before you hit enter to add a judgmental or snarky comment.

• Reach out to your friends and family.
• Be kind. We all cope differently with change and upheaval.

Wishing you and your family a healthy Easter.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.