Man avoids jail after sharing graphic intimate videos of ex-wife on social media

Photo: Castanet Staff

A Kamloops man who shared graphic intimate videos of himself and his ex-wife on social media — including one in which she was unconscious and unconsenting — has avoided jail.

The 37-year-old man, who cannot be named under a publication ban put in place to protect the identity of the victim, pleaded guilty to two counts of publishing an intimate image without consent. He was in Kamloops provincial court on Wednesday for sentencing.

Court heard the couple met in 2007 and later married. During the course of their marriage, they would occasionally film their sexual encounters — with the consent of both parties.

They had two children before splitting up in 2019.

The following year, the woman said she found herself logged into her ex’s Facebook Messenger account after her cellphone completed a software update. Because they were going through custody issues with their two children, she said she decided to snoop through his conversations for any evidence of impropriety.

What she found were two graphic intimate videos shared by her ex with other women — one that she recalled being a part of and another in which she was incapacitated and unable to consent.

Her face was visible in both videos, court heard.

The woman contacted police and later provided a statement to investigators. She also confronted the man, who asked her not to pursue the issue with Mounties.

“[She] worried there were more videos that had been sent and she said she wasn’t sure now ‘who had seen what,’ to use her words,” Crown prosecutor Sheron O’Connor said in court.

The man later told police he was intoxicated when the videos were sent early in 2020 — one on Feb. 6 and the other on May 5.

Court heard the man was motivated by hubris and appeared to find the videos funny, according to the messages accompanying them on Facebook Messenger.

Reading a victim-impact statement in court, the woman said trauma from the incident has left her with physical symptoms. She addressed her ex directly.

“I was exposed in ways I never wanted to be and you have violated me,” she said.

“My damage is on the inside, but I carry it with me every day and fight to keep myself going.”

O’Connor was seeking a jail sentence of six months, to be followed by a 12-month period of probation with conditions restricting the man's use of social media, as well as his use of drugs and alcohol.

Defence lawyer Cameron Johnson suggested a sentence of house arrest, which would allow the man to continue to work.

“The only other solution would be to jail him and deny him the opportunity to earn any income for himself or his family,” Johnson said.

The man, who had no previous criminal record, cried as O’Connor described the offence in court. He later apologized when asked by Kamloops provincial court Judge Marianne Armstrong whether he had anything to say.

“I honestly don’t know what I was thinking when I did the things I did,” he said.

“I am completely remorseful for all the things I did to her. I just want her to know that I am sorry.”

Armstrong described the offence as “unspeakably horrible” and “callous.”

“It’s not just selfish. Selfish is eating the last donut in the box,” she said.

“This is way beyond selfish. I couldn’t find a word. It’s a horrible thing to do to the mother of your children and a woman who you profess to love. The impact of it will be with her for the rest of her life.”

Armstrong sentenced the man to nine months of house arrest to be followed by a two-year period of probation.

Conditions for the man’s house arrest include terms barring him from having contact with the woman or posting anything about her on social media. He will also be prohibited from having any visitors or consuming drugs or alcohol.

While on probation, the man will only be allowed to contact his ex with her consent. He will remain prohibited from consuming drugs or alcohol and will also be required to complete 24 hours of community service and take counselling as directed by his probation officer.

In addition, Armstrong ordered the man to submit a sample of his DNA to a national criminal database.