It's the Kelowna bridge race

I want to invite you to a new event in Kelowna. Well, it’s not that new, it started after the new bridge was built.

It has however become hugely popular. It’s the Kelowna bridge race. This event starts each weekday at roughly 5:30 a.m. Any vehicle can enter. If you can get it to roll, small or commercial size, just get it there.

The starting position is the light at Water Street and Highway 97 going south to West Kelowna. Multiple heats are run, coinciding with the lights, so don’t worry if you’re late. In fact, if you’re late, that’ll just give you more urgency. Start signal is, well... of course the green light.

From the water street cross light, contestants must get around the first right turn, and accelerate hard, hard, across the bridge. After 30 km over the limit you lose your car if you’re hit by radar, but don’t worry, that never ever ever happens here. Zero enforcement.

Hit the bridge at your best speed, go over the hill, down into the right hand corner, and then, the climb up the West Kelowna hill. This is the time to really go. Stand on the gas pedal. You may see signs that talk about 60kmh. That’s ridiculous. You’re not coming out a winner on this run unless you blow by 130 kmh. You’re not remotely even in the running at 80 kmh. The average is closer to 90 and that comes nowhere near the drivers that really shine.

Those guys doing anything even approximating 60 kmh are just there as blockers. Swerve around them, stay on the inside lane (that would be the slow lane?) and hit it hard again. If there’s not enough room to get around, them, get all over their tail, within inches preferably.

This is a race, not people trying to get to work. There’s no time for an inch of safety. On your way to work, this is really your time to shine as the racing driver you are. So come on out.

William Mastop