Obligated to have fun

Enough already! I’m tired of not being able to travel, visit distant family and friends, or go to concerts and plays.

I feel like the fun has been sucked out of my life.

Being proactive, I decided to write a list of ways I could increase my enjoyment of life right now, not at some point in the future after a vaccine has been found. I need some lighthearted energy to engulf me.

I sat down with a coffee, pen, and paper. What could I do to have more fun right now? After 20 minutes my coffee was gone, but the sheet was still blank.

The things I traditionally rely on for excitement and adventure aren’t available options. Anything that is, I’m already doing. There must be something I could add to my life that would bring me fun.

This exercise felt too hard, so I decided to throw the question out to the universe and see if anything surfaced while I wasn’t looking.

This is one of my favourite ways to find solutions that don’t want to show themselves. Ask the question and then stop looking for an answer.

Instead of thinking about fun, I got to work deciding what to talk about on my 66 Days of Possibility live video segment. The day before, I had chosen to record myself without any makeup on. Maybe I’d do a follow up.

Living in possibility requires you to try new things. Going without makeup on camera was new for me. I was curious to see if I felt self-conscious or uncomfortable. I didn’t.

These days I don’t wear cosmetics because I feel compelled to, I do it because I want to. Many days when I’m not going anywhere or appearing on video, I still do my makeup and wear nice clothes.

I get enjoyment from putting an outfit together. I wear makeup because it’s fun to put on.

What did I say? Was I having fun without realizing it?

When I stopped looking for a way to have more fun, an answer began to reveal itself. I just needed to unravel it.

I enjoy putting on makeup when I’m doing it because I want to. Maybe having fun has something to do with choice. Could it be that it isn’t the activity that provides the fun, but the attitude you have about it?

For the most part, I’m not a fan of domestic chores. This would be the perfect way to test my theory. Could cleaning the bathrooms be fun if I stopped seeing it as something I had to do and instead viewed it as a choice?

I know people who love to clean. They do it with a light heart and claim it brings them pleasure. Before now I’ve never quite believed that could be true.

What would it be like if instead of thinking I had to clean the bathrooms, I decided to clean them because I wanted to show my home some love?

I decided to give it a try. I got my cleaning supplies, and my phone. While I worked, I played music. I noticed that I was singing along, doing a few dance steps, and smiling. Amazingly, it was kind of enjoyable.

If I want more fun in my life, maybe I need to start by approaching everything with a different type of energy. It isn’t about finding fun things, but about doing things expecting to have fun.

This is a small adjustment that can make a big difference. Give it a try.

When you hear yourself saying or thinking you have to do something; try rephrasing it.

You don’t have to make dinner; you’re choosing to because you want your family to be healthy.

Fill in the blanks for yourself. You don’t have to _______: you’re choosing to because ________.

Don’t forget that when choice is involved, you can also choose not to do something.

I may not be able to travel the world, visit friends in other countries, or go to a concert or play, but I can choose to have fun doing all the things that are still available to me.

I can still:

• Go into nature
• Listen to music
• Talk to friends
• Get creative
• Use my imagination
• Read a book
• Take a nap
• Dream

These can all provide me with enjoyment if that’s the energy I approach them with. I think that’s what was missing from my life and why the fun had disappeared.

If you’re finding yourself caught in a similar energy to me, remember to focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t.

It isn’t the activity that determines whether or not you are going to have fun, it’s the intention you set and the energy you embrace.

This article is written by or on behalf of an outsourced columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of Castanet.